Mermaids

During the course of a conversation with a friend, he asked me to keep my eyes out for a red-headed mermaid for him.
That might seem a bit odd but this fellow has been married to women four times and unsuccessful each time.
He probably wants to try something different for a change.

Anyway, I haven't seen any mermaids and none of the lobsterman I know have landed one.
Even if they did, it's unlikely their wives would let them keep the creature.
But assuming one became available, I don't know that my friend could afford one.
If lobsters are $5 per pound, you'd expect a petite mermaid might sell for $500 while a big,
mama mermaid at 200 pounds would be $1000. That's a lot of change for an experiment.
With red tide prevalent, the red hair might not be a problem. One pass through a tide pool should do for a rinse.
However, kissing a mermaid after she's bathed in a red tide pool could be dangerous.

Then there are the maintenance issues. The mermaid would probable want to sleep in the bathtub at first.
And when she hears about Jacuzzi tubs, no doubt she'd want the biggest and best. And food?
Mermaids probably like live fish at every meal which could be a full time job for the provider.
Now all that sounds like fun but I'm not sure my friend would adapt quickly to that lifestyle.

So, if you hear about an available mermaid, let me know. I'll tell my friend.
I'll also caution him about some of the concerns I have. The whole idea seems pretty fishy to me.
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